From the lily pad...

Above and Beyond...

For those of you who have worked with the man in the picture you might wonder if he bleeds purple. He is one to go above and beyond. This picture might be set up, but I don't think it is too much of an exaggeration. I know because I have been with him personally on many a mission to deliver. Weekends, holidays, pitch black nights on scary back roads(his parents can attest to this one) and whatever mother nature throws at him. He will tell you "it is all part of the job".

Now for a little back ground on the picture. The reason he ended up hiking Sinks Canyon in his uniform is the "job" never ends. He had to meet a shuttle of freight at his station at 2am on Dec. 25th. Since his station is 30 minutes from our home and he had to be into work anyway that day he stayed there. It wasn't until after noon that he headed back home, but not before he delivered a few packages on the way. He stopped in to pick me up and do one last delivery before we went for our hike.
So you might conclude, "yes, he must bleed purple". Unfortunately, he is spread so thin it probably just looks crimson.

From the lily pad...

Hello all. It has been a bit crazy this month. I felt bad that I haven't updated the blog in a while. While I try to come up with something news worthy to post, I thought I would leave you with a little something from the archives. I apologize to those who have already read this. It is like a re-run. What else would you expect this time of year.

A Cat Tale

There is this Tom that has been paying me visits over the past couple years. He has started to come by more often recently. I am rather confused about my feelings toward him. Since my kitty making organs were taken from me against my will so many years ago, my lack of hormones have left me without a gage to measure my attraction to this Tom. Although, I have been around long enough to know they keep coming back. I figure I can play hard to get until I am sure how to proceed. So far I have found I can really let him have it through the window. We have had some pretty intense conversations this way. He really pushes my buttons and I just can’t stop myself from trying to go through that window at him.
A few times when I have been allowed outside unattended he has come by. This has left me feeling a little defenseless (especially since my best weapons were ripped from my front toes also against my will. Don’t worry, Erika thinks that I just slip when I am walking across her head at night, but I have hewn those back claws into razors for this particular form of revenge). Anyway, back to this Tom. He plays it all sweet like “hey, how you doin’, I would love to lay here and stare into your beautiful green eyes.” I have to say after 12 years, a little flattery goes a long way. We have spent some time staring into one another’s eyes. It never fails that when we are enjoying this time together Erika shows up. She gets all paranoid about letting us alone together. With her there I have a reputation to uphold. I have been top cat for 12 years and that isn’t going to change for some Don Juan. So, the tension rises and we get into a hissing match. At this point Erika insists on throwing a blanket over one of us. I figure this is a good time to head to the door. I wouldn’t want to say something I would regret. Like I said, I don’t know how I feel about him, but I don’t want him to stop coming around.
I am concerned I may have played it a little too hard to get the last time he came around. I was outside with Mike and Erika and he came for a visit. He played it very cool scaling the top of the fence, showing off his skills. I thought this was a bit much and didn’t pay him any attention. He tried for awhile and got bored and left. I looked for him, but he didn’t come back. I heard Mike telling Erika they should keep him and he would name him Scotch. Mike thinks he is so clever with that name since we live on Dewars Cv. Thankfully, I don’t think Erika went for it.
Last night Erika did tell me she saw him with another cat outside. She is concerned he has left me for someone else. She kept warning me I needed to be nicer to him or he would find someone who would be. The thing is she doesn’t know if that other cat is a kitty making tramp or just another cat robbed of their identity by the vet at a mere 6 months old. I have a felling he will be back. I’m named Jezebel for a reason.

From the lily pad...

Snow Days

Ever feel like a rain cloud follows you around? I am not talking about being depressed. In my case it is a snow cloud that follows me. Now, I know it is still a rain cloud that turns into snow as it hits the cooler temps. Just work with me on this one will ya?

Everyone should remember the post about the snow that dumped on us in October, right. That was the beginning of my battle with the snow. I was thankful that it all melted and the weather turned really nice. It has been a great extended fall.

However, an opportunity came up for me to be able to go home to WI for an extended visit. It wasn't long before I was facing my nemesis the snow. It came down in a soft blanket of white. From the window I actually thought it was pretty. How deceivingly innocent it appears. I know not to let my guard down. Twenty plus years of living in WI has left me cautious and jaded.

I pulled out the snow boots and bundled up for the task at hand. Out in the garage I found an assortment of ergonomically designed snow shovels. I was thinking, "wow, this should be a piece of cake with one of these shovels". Half way through I realized they look great, but they still don't pick up the wet heavy snow for you. Boy was my back going to feel this the next day.

A few days later the snows true colors came out. No more pretty blankets of white. Now we had cold, blowing snow. The kind that is like grains of sands, except it is icy snow. This stuff likes to drift into mounds of snow. Even though it doesn't cover all the surfaces, it still requires shoveling.

Once again we receive another blanket of snow. It is suppose to stop coming down around 2 pm so I will wait. Our neighbor decided to snow blow his and ours around 9 in the morning. Which is really nice of him, but still had a bunch to clear when I started at 3 in the afternoon. My mom kept telling me to wait and maybe he would clear it again. I didn't want to be shoveling in the dark so I decided to dig in. I finished around 4 pm and I heard him start up his snow blower at 4:30. My mom was right, I could have waited.

On a side note, I think you need to be slightly evil inside to drive a snow plow. Pushing all the hard, heavy, dirty snow into an impenetrable wall at the end of a newly cleared driveway. How else could they keep doing it over and over again?

Now remember in the beginning of this post I mentioned how nice of an extended fall we were having in WY. I stopped checking the temps here in WY while I was in WI because they were a good 20 degrees colder in WI. So when we arrived in WY yesterday and it was 56 degrees I was pretty happy to be here.

Today we are expected to get at least 5 inches of snow. Yeah, it is coming down in a nice pretty white blanket, but I am not going to be fooled.

Home Alone

Well, my significant other officially left me last Thursday. She packed up her most valuable possessions, jumped on a plane, and left. With me one day, gone the next! I know what you're thinking..."WTF?" "How can this be?" "They seemed so happy...well, sometimes, anyway..."

Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not that story. Thankfully, I'm not writing that story, today. Hopefully, I'll never have to write that story. That story, if I'm lucky, won't ever be narrated by me...ever! Plus, my girl can't afford the plane ticket! So, no worries mon, I'm good!

But, she did leave me.

She headed back home to hang with the family for a while. You know, I'm working a ridiculous amount of hours right now and we really don't see each other all that much, so it seemed like a good time for her to get away. I can work my fool head off and she can get some much needed human interaction. I think it will actually work out well. I should be able to get some things in line at work and she'll be able to talk...to someone...during daylight hours.

So, I'm excited for her and worried for me. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do with all the poop and pee in the litter box. Does it go in the regular trash can? Can you flush it down the toilet? I'm sure she has some unique process that I'm supposed to be following. Oh well, whatever, the toilet seems to be working fine! I actually think that that statement is part of the Bachelor's Creed, "If it's not broke, or leaking, or making some strange noise, let it be!" Seriously, how bad can clay litter be for the plumbing?

To my significant other and her family, "I know plumbers". And I miss y'all and wish I could be there too!

Now, how do I get to that casino?

Alone, in the dark...

Have you ever found yourself driving a stretch of highway at night and realized you haven't seen nary a car in twenty minutes? I have. In fact, it happened to me last Thursday night. Let me paint the Bob Ross.

The day started out simple enough, albeit in Denver, CO. As many of you know, I live nowhere near Denver, CO. But I was there. Business called, and I answered. Well, I really didn't have a choice. So I was forced to be in Denver for an All Managers Meeting. Long story short, the meeting was over. Well, not before I ate several portions of tortellini!

At this point, it's 1600 (that's military for 4:00 PM). I have, at a minimum, a five and one half hour drive ahead of me covering north-central Colorado and almost all of Wyoming. Well, at least that's how I was interpreting the daunting task ahead. But, I needed to get back home. I could hear my cat screaming from Greeley, CO! And if you've ever heard Jezebell scream from a lack of food, you would know the urgentness of the situation. Is urgentness a word? Whatever, you get the idea. So, I make like a baby and head out. What follows are some memorable thoughts from that trip:

50 mph gusts of wind have a definite affect on a Honda Element's ability to hold it's lane!

Tumbleweeds do blow across open highways in the West! I know, I've seen them!

The I-80 corridor and Wyoming highway 789 out of Rawlins, WY can be some of the loneliest stretches of roadway in the continental United States. Remember, I said 20 minutes without seeing another vehicle...no lie!

When traveling great distances alone, at night, strange thoughts enter one's mind. Have you ever found yourself wondering what would happen if your car were to break down in the middle of nowhere? Would Jim-Bob and his cousin Leroy find you and help you? Or, would Jim-Bob and Leroy find you and think you're cute?

22 miles from home is still 22 miles. Too far to walk, too far to run. Remember, you're at elevation. And you're about as handy as Captain Hook!

A cat's hunger pangs can be heard from great distances!

A five and one half hour trip can easily become a six hour, 15 minute, white knuckle adventure!

Home is home regardless of where it is...and I can't remember a time when I was more happy to see it!

I'd do it all over again tomorrow if I had too. That's just the way I am. I'm just crazy enough to do what others might think twice about.

And to be honest with you, I enjoy not seeing other motorists on the road. I enjoy time alone. I need to defragment once and awhile. There's no better place to be alone than on the roadways of Wyoming!

I love the fact that my company pays me 58.5 cents per mile when traveling for work-related activities! That's ~$483 round trip! I'm going to be able to buy a new car at this rate...I'll need a new car at this rate!

Home is where the beer is. I'll need several to calm down after this trip.

I had several!

Then passed out and was alone, again, in the dark. Well, not exactly...Jezebell found her way to the top of my head while I was trying to get some much-needed rest. I love my cat and would travel great distances for her comfort.

Work sucks!

From the lily pad...

BOOM!

What was that? Thunder? Drift back to sleep. BOOM! Someone must be hunting. Back to sleep. BOOM! Wow, either there are multiple hunters or that guy is one bad shot. Wait a minute what time is it? 5 am, it is still dark out. They can't hunt when it is dark. BOOM! What is going on? Well, this is cowboy country I guess we don't ask. BOOM! This is crazy. It has been going on for over an hour. BOOM!

Later in the morning I hear a guy I know say "Those stinking canons had me up at 5 am this morning"
Did I hear canons? "What did you say?"
"The canons. They fire them off all over town every Veteran's day" he says.
"They do this on purpose at 5 in the morning, why?" I ask.
"To annoy everyone." he says laughing.
Mission accomplished I think to myself.

Every place has it's quirks. This is by far one of the more ridiculous ones.

Cake

And by the way, I had Jim cake! And loved it!

Writer's Block

It's not that I have nothing to say. I have two cents. But, is it really worth spending? How many people really want to read about the random thoughts swirling around in my head? This is my struggle. It's not that I don't have stories. It's not that I don't have a voice. My voice would be more than happy to tell you the stories. But are the stories worth the time it takes to put them into written words? Maybe, maybe not. Is it a decision that I really have to make? I've done some interesting things. And, I've created this blog. Therefore, maybe all I have to do is put these thoughts, these stories, into words and the answer will present itself. I should view this blog as the vehicle that allows my voice to be heard. The vehicle that I can use to tell my stories. What an enlightening moment. This blog is an extension of my voice. It's a free space I can use to share random thoughts and stories. In the end, the people reading will determine the content's worth, not me. The two cents I spend now may be worth a heck of a lot more to the people willing to take the time to read what I have to say. The important thing to remember here is that words are powerful. What may seem insignificant to me at the time, may be invaluable to others. Therefore, I will do my best to continue on. I shall, from this point forward, write. If people choose to read, they read. If not, it's no skin off my teeth. It is, after all, only two cents!

I like beer. In fact, I have two open at this very moment...a Coors Original and a Miller High Life.

I hunt.

I spent way more money than any hunter should on a compound bow. It's a PSE Mach I Dream Season. It sends arrows down range at 348 feet per second! Well, not currently. It's only set at 62 lbs. Once I build up some strength, I can set it to 70 lbs. which spells, "DOOM" to any animal standing in the way of it's arrow.

My better half mows the yard. And, consequently, makes crab apple jam.

She also cooks.

And cleans.

Lucky me.

Love her to death. Hopefully it won't be soon!

Life is but a canvas.

It's up to us to paint the picture.

Bob Ross can paint his fool head off!

And I like the squirrel he keeps in his pocket.

Wouldn't giant squirrels be cool. Think kangaroo.

I travel a lot and I've seen some remarkable things. It makes a person wonder how? How is it possible? Why? Big questions not easily answered. I hope to some day find the answers.

I love my family and miss them always.

Music is my passion but I've yet to find a way to make it my reality.

I think people, in general, take for granted the gift they've been given. Don't be that guy (girl)!

I'm listening to an iPod play list that I created. The current song is, "More Than Words" by Extreme. How fitting.

To the valued readers of this blog, "I appreciate you taking the time to read our words." I actually enjoy making a two cent deposit every now and then. Keep reading...please. Just knowing that there are people out there willing to spend their time on us means it's worth all the effort.

Peace, and we'll see you on the flip side.

Scum

From the lily pad...

I see my last post has inspired some others to become followers of the blog. Kellie wins the prize for attaching a cute dog picture to hers. That will win me over every time.

My mission today was to mulch the leaves in the backyard with the lawn mower. Those of you who know anything about WY know it can be a bit windy here. However, our little town is usually the exception. Not today!
The gale force winds over the last two days dislodged every last leaf and congregated most of them in a corner of the fence. This corner is guarded by an unruly crab apple tree. I start systematically making my way to the corner. So far I am safe from the reach of the crab apple tree and in the thick of the leaves. The powder created from the grinding up of the leaves immediately finds its way into my eyes, nose and lungs. Strike one.
I am closing in on the crab apple tree. The dust in my eyes has obscured my vision and the tree gets its first assault on me. A twig comes out of no where and almost takes out my eye. I dodge that twig only to have another jab into my hair and pull it. By the time I get my barrings from the first assault I am accosted by a clump of frozen crab apples that narrowly miss my forehead as I duck. Strike two.
Working my way away from the crab apple tree the air starts to clear and the leaves become few and far between. I can't help but notice that the leaves in that corner are still taunting me. I throw caution to the wind and head back to the corner for another go around.
Once I have accomplished what I have set out to do I turn off the lawn mower. It is only now that I realize I have made crab apple jam. Yes, the bottoms of my shoes, the tires of the lawnmower all covered in mushy crab apple remnants. Strike three.
Now my question to you is: Who in their right mind plants a crab apple tree in their yard?

From the lily pad...

Umm....
I really do not have much to report. I feel obligated to post something because I know you are all waiting with baited breath for our next post. Well, maybe just the two who actually figured out how to sign up to be followers of our blog. We appreciate your dedication.
Lets see...I was out by the reservation and there were two calves in someone's yard. They were just eating away. There was a fence, but it wasn't completely enclosed. They could have been the home owner's means of lawn maintenance, or they could have wandered in. I am pretty sure I'd seen them there or at least in that neighborhood last week. I have a feeling I will not be seeing them in the spring. Buy hay to feed them through the winter, or have hamburger through the winter? Gee, I wonder what it will be? Like I said, I won't be seeing them in the spring.
What else can I tell you... Jezebell has found it to be very necessary to stuff herself into any open receptacle. Full bathroom drawer? Yup, she is like a bulldozer. Deodorant, lotion, soap all kicked aside to accommodate a comfortable resting place.
Dresser drawers require less re-arranging, but apparently lack sufficient cat hair. Good thing we have pet hair rollers! I know what you are thinking. Why do we leave drawers open all over our house? We don't. She is like a Stealth Bomber. By the time you see her, BAM, she's in there.
Unpacked boxes are the jackpot. Big or small she is in them. I find it amusing when she jumps into the big garment boxes and can't get out. It takes a while to realize the peace and quiet you are experiencing isn't normal. Then you listen for it...mew. Follow it...meow. Closer...MEOW!! When you dig her out she gives you a hiss for good measure. Ungrateful little....
Well, our two faithful followers, that is all I can come up with. Hang in there, something exciting is bound to happen.

From the lily pad...

October 12th, Are you kidding me?!!

This picture gives you an idea of the amount of snow we got last weekend. Keep in mind some of it melted the day before. The picture is a little grainy because it is still snowing when I took it. I heard the total was over 30 inches.

We woke up on Saturday morning thinking the 12 inches we were buried in was crazy. I could tell by looking at it that it was a wet heavy snow. We were getting ready to have a leisurely breakfast, because really, where were we going to go? The door bell rings and the neighbor boy asks if we want him to shovel for us. Sure! How much he asks. 10 bucks. He ponders the offer and asks, "for how much of the driveway?" He is instructed to just start shoveling and we will re-evaluate when we see how far he gets. After a moderate sized square of snow on the upper part of the driveway is removed, he disappears. After our breakfast we head out to tackle the job ourselves. We just get started and here comes the neighbor boy with his mom driving a four-wheeler with a plow. Smart kid. They get us cleared out in no time. Still costs us 10 bucks, but it was worth it.

Sunday morning felt like groundhog's day. We wake up to another 12 inches at least. I shovel a path to the garage. The neighbor yells to me from her balcony that she will be over later to clear us out again. I say thanks and head into the house. By the time I get home from the meeting the driveway is clear. There is no exchange of money, but I have offered to let their dogs out while they are gone to work over the next couple days. Even Steven.

Due to the weight of the wet snow on the trees that still had their leaves, several trees lost branches. The trees in our yard are no exception. One branch is particularly large and another isn't completely broken off the tree. This presents a problem. What are we going to do with these branches. I am told you can haul them to the dump for free if you have a WY license plate. OK, you have seen the picture of White Lightning. If he wasn't buried in snow you would also see that he still has a TN license plate. Since we can't do anything until the snow melts some more, we head off to Gillette and Cody over the next couple days. When we get back home the branches are gone. I call the neighbor to see if they are responsible. Sure enough, they took care of them for us. I thank them profusely and hang up the phone. I realize I will be letting their dogs out for the whole winter at this rate. It is too bad...for them because I got the better end of this deal.

Friends...

To all of you that I'm privileged to call "Friends":

You know, it's not every day that an individual has the opportunity to meet and befriend another human being. In fact, some folks go their whole life not knowing the true meaning of the word. I mean, how do you define it? What constitutes a "friend"? We've all thought, at some point or another, that we were fortunate enough to have at least one friend. In all honesty, were they really your "friend"? Think about it. Do you still talk to them? Do you go out of your way to visit them? Probably not. That's not to say that they're not deserving, it's just that we're all busy living our own lives, so it's difficult to keep tabs on folks that are living their own lives.

Well, it's my hope, that at some point in your life, you were lucky enough to know someone well enough to call them your "friend". And I know what you're thinking. "Oh great, Pond Scum is getting all sappy!" Well, I'm here to tell you that's not the case. I occasionally get sappy, but this is not one of those times. I'm just happy, honored, and privileged to say that I've had (do have) some great individuals in my life that motivate me to be that "friend". Now I could go on and on, maybe even take the time to list them out individually on my blog. But it's not necessary. Those that carry the "friend" label don't need me to remind them, or acknowledge them on a list. Hopefully, I've done everything I've needed to along the way, to let them know that I wouldn't be where I am, without them.

You know, it might not take much to turn that "used to be my best buddy" into a true "friend". Maybe it's as simple as a weekly text page. Maybe it's a visit to their home. Maybe just a call on the telephone. An instant message. If you think it's worth pursuing, then it's worth the effort. An individual can go a long way on his own, but in the end, he would be a long way, on his own. And what fun would that be? "Friends" should not be taken for granted. If you have some, keep them. For in the end, we can't do it on our own. And stories can't be shared with yourself. Unless you're schizophrenic!

So, to all my friends (hopefully, you know who you are...and if you don't, you will), I salute you. I would not be who I am today, or in the place that I am, without your "friendship"! Oh, and if you think it's worth traveling 70 miles out of your way...it is!

And Ohio State still sucks!

But, I love John Deere!

And to my family...I give nothing but love! Imagine a fat guy at the carnival loving on a Pronto Pup (or two)...that's the love I have for you!

I'll see you on the other side! Peace!

M

From the lily pad...

Yellowstone

This may not be the prettiest picture from Yellowstone, but it is the most likely thing you will see. If you go to Yellowstone and don't see a bison, you must be blind. With that said, I thought this trip was going to be the one that we didn't see any bison. I took my in-laws to the park while Mike slaved away at the Cody station. We drove and drove and drove and finally made it into the park. We saw a turkey, a coyote, a wolf and some Mule deer, but no Bison. We only had time for one of the loops in the park. So, we drove and drove and drove some more and hit Old Faithful. It is a must see phenomenon, once. Then you say, "ok, saw it, don't need to see it again". After the ho hum experience of Old Faithful we had some lunch and drove and drove and drove. We were giving up on seeing a bison at this point when Sr. spotted a lone bison eating behind some trees. I whipped the Element around and we jumped out to get a picture. Satisfied with our bison encounter we climbed back in the Element and drove and drove and wait a minute what are all of these people pulled over for? It was for the hundreds(it could have been hundreds, I didn't count) of Bison that speckled the hill side. We jumped out for more pictures (like the one above). Now we really had to get going to meet Mike, so we start pulling forward up the road a few feet and there stands 3 hugh bison on the side of the road. I slowed to a crawl so Sr. could get a picture and the closest one raised it's head and looked at me like "Lady, people have been up in my grill all day taking pictures, if you don't move it I am going to skewer this funny looking vehicle". So, we went on our way pleased with what we had been able to accomplish in the short time we had in Yellowstone and we drove and drove and drove to meet Mike. Back in Cody we were all tired and hungry, but we wanted to get home so we drove and drove and drove and drove......

From the lily pad...

A walk around a mountain town...
What wonders a walk will do. You start out with your head spinning. It isn't earth shattering stuff, but just all that life throws at you. The fist five minutes are lost to this distraction called life. Then you start to look around and each step shakes loose the "stuff"(it helps when you are in a mountain town). Twenty minutes in you are just enjoying the warm sun and the fresh air. The "stuff" no longer weighs you down. At this point you can really appreciate all the big and small nuances of nature around you. You don't need to be deep in the woods or on a mountain trail to appreciate these things. If you have grass and trees you have nature and life to observe. Maybe that is just me. I will watch a grasshopper with amusement as it tries to avoid my presence only to land a foot or two up the path and have to do it all over again. I will look at a bat house made by the local elementary school and make a mental note to try to make it back at dusk to witness the mass exodus. These things defragment my brain and renew it for more "stuff". After forty-five minutes I am left walking up the hill back to the house. My legs are feeling the strain and the sun is now hot. I wont complain. Winter is around the corner.

From the lily pad...

To the dedicated readers of this blog...if you see, "From the lily pad..."in the title of a blog post you will be subjected to the wonderful (read: crazy) thoughts (rantings) of E. Lord knows what we'll see "From the lily pad...", but you know it will be good! Think of it as the only ray of sunshine casting down on our scum covered Pond!

And one more thing...

Did you know that in the business of packing household goods, one always packs a fully-loaded bowling ball bag (think hard, vinyl, two-tone material that zips around a metal skeleton that holds up to one 16 pound bowling ball and a pair of shoes) in it's own box? And we thought they walked off with E's bowling ball! Now that's one to grow on!

Unpacking Your Life

Have you ever had all of your personal belongings packed up and shipped to another locale? In another state? Those of you that read the first post (that might be a grand total of 3 people!) will remember that E and I moved to Wyoming. And we did that move in our personal vehicles with as much crap as we could stuff in them. But, there's no way we were getting ALL of our crap in two vehicles! I mean, really, we've been together for 12 years now...we've accumulated more than two SUV's worth of crap! In fact, we've accumulated more crap than we wanted to shovel ourselves. We left it to the "professionals". Well, in all honesty, we probably would have done it ourselves, but, the company I work for paid to move our stuff. You'd have to be a complete clown (insert the word ass in front of clown for dramatic effect) to want to pack and move all your stuff by yourself. Or, a broke-ass single dude moving out of your parents basement!

So, where was I...oh, yes, the "professionals". My company (no, I don't own it) paid this other company to come to our house in Memphis and "professionally" pack our stuff. Which they did...I guess. After packing, the movers come over and haul it away. Simple formula, really. Unless, that is, you had our "professionals"! Here we are (well, it's not so much "we" as it is "E") unpacking the countless boxes of personal belongings a whole 6 days after it was delivered to our new crib. 6 DAYS! Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot?

Well, let me just ask you this...have you ever had to unwrap every little thing you own? It's painstaking to say the least. Some examples to help paint the picture...instead of leaving your junk drawer in tact, the professionals take every last thing out of the drawer and wrap it in paper. Letters from my lovely, miscellaneous pictures, Yo! MTV Raps playing cards...I mean they grab a handful of your crap and roll it in so much paper you'd think they were in cahoots with the paper companies. I grabbed a paper roll from one of the boxes with no idea what it was and I started to unroll, and unroll, and unroll the next sheet of paper, and unroll, and you get the idea! At the end of it all lie two poker chips, some loose change, a pen, a picture of my parents and wife at Graceland, a now-creased, autographed picture of Bret Bielma (UW Badger head football coach), and the newspaper clipping heralding my Mom's 60th Birthday. I mean, are you kidding me? You couldn't shove the paper stuff in an envelope or padded pack? You just roll it up in a huge paper ball and send it on it's way? Ridiculous!

And so this continues...to this day...in fact there are still boxes left to be opened. Who knows what we'll find? I know I'm still looking for one of my moccasin slippers. I'm sure it's wrapped in ten sheets of paper at the bottom of a Dish Pack. If there is any good that comes from this process it's that you get to look at all the stuff you've accumulated over your entire life. Which isn't so bad I guess seeing as how I got to play a game of Football 2 by Mattel Electronics! You know the one...the little green hand-held football game that takes a 9-volt battery! Rad! As cool as that was I'm still thinking that maybe next time we'd be better served fitting ALL our crap in our own two vehicles and leave the "professionals" out of it. If nothing else, we'd be saving some trees that way!

This year's Ring of Honor?

Those of you that know me well, know that I enjoy my beer. Those of you that hung with E and I in Memphis know that I became a Beerknurd in Memphis, TN. For those of you that are now confused, a Beerknurd is a dedicated patron of a local establishment known as the Flying Saucer.

A Flying Saucer Beerknurd is dedicated to the task of being enshrined in the Ring of Honor. One is enshrined in the Ring only after he/she consumes 200 different beers. At first thought you're probably thinking, "easy". But I challenge you to do the math. 200beers / (divided by) 3 beers per visit (that's right, only 3 beers a night count towards the Ring!) If my math is correct, that's 66.67 trips to the Flying Saucer. So, say you go once a week...it would take you well over a year to get your plate (Beerknurds are driven by a plate...the plate that hangs somewhere along the Ring of Honor once you've consumed all 200 beers.)

Well, I have a plate! It hangs in the downtown, Memphis, TN, Flying Saucer, above the cooler door. Like I said, I like my beer. But, what does that have to do with anything significant? Well, nothing really. We now live in Lander, WY, which is many miles away from Memphis, TN. Beers drank in Lander have no bearing on the Ring of Honor. So, what is a man to do...well, this man will drink beer anyway! In fact, we've probably spent more time in the Lander Bar over the last three weeks than we would have at the Flying Saucer. And as far as I'm concerned, I might as well get some kind of credit for all that hard work or at least be known as a man that enjoys fine beer. With that, I offer you the Mug Club! Lander Bar's version of the Ring of Honor. And E thought we escaped all that...HA!

Enjoy fine beer and I look forward to joining a new fraternity!

Check it out at www.landerbar.com

Westward Ho!

As many of you are aware, M and E packed up their bags and moved to Beverly! Hills that is! Pretty cliche, eh? What can I say, I'm a sucker for old sitcoms. Well, maybe it's that I'm a sucker for old sitcom theme songs. Or, maybe it's just that we moved and I couldn't think of any other way to kick off this post.

At any rate, M and E are no longer residents of the hustling metropolis of Memphis, TN. Approximately three weeks ago, we loaded up two of our vehicles (we own a fleet) with everything we thought we would need to live off of for an indefinite amount of time. Which, I'll have you know, is a bunch of stuff (if you prefer a more descriptive word here, pick one that begins with "sh" and ends with "it"!)

It felt like Deja Vu. Like we had done this before. Oh, that's because we had. We (M and E and a DSH we'll call Whiskers) lived out of a Saturn SL2 when we moved from Green Bay to Austin. We doubled our living quarters when we decided it was time to move east. An Eagle Vision TSI and Chevy Malibu were called upon to be our mobile homes for that move. And when we moved to the hub of the Mid-South we called our Honda Element home. We've spent more time living out of a car than an aspiring (read: starving) actress trying to make her way in Hollywood. Or, if you remember, that one girl in high school....well, um, never mind...that's another post!

But this time was different. We were going farther. We were moving out West. You need more stuff. To be specific, you need a Jeep Grand Cherokee and Honda Element stuffed to the gills with all your personal belongings. All the stuff you don't want the moving thugs to mistreat or lose. So, you pack all the important stuff...the guns, the golf clubs and the wet bar! Oh, and you make sure to pack your significant other and Whiskers. I mean, c'mon, what would a cross country trip be without the loves of your life on board? Like I said, I had my guns, clubs and whiskey so as long as there was still room, I thought, "What the heck, bring the girls."

So, it's been Deja Vu all over, again (hence the words Deja Vu), for us, only this time we had all of the essentials. With GS (I think that's CSI for gun shot) residue on our hands , whiskey on our breath, dreams of mountainous golf courses and the sweet aroma of feline waste deposits in the air, we set sail for the wide open spaces of the great American West. And you know something? We made it! We're here, in Cowboy Country, living out of our suitcases and cardboard boxes. But, we're loving it. The air is clean, the views are endless and Whiskers is regular again (which is a relief, because when she's off a little, it stinks a lot!) And so we've arrived, to this new chapter in our lives.

And now that I come to think of it, I'm not really an old sitcom fan at all (well, unless it's Threes Company...that's some funny _____!) In fact, I think that Hillbillies theme song is pretty stupid. But, I can tell you this...with my guns, clubs, bar and girls, I can travel the world! I feel like that ol' bastard, Jed Clampett, after he shot at that food...except there's no bubbling crude...I'm just fortunate to be living a dream...hell, I'm a millionaire!